I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
