oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
