I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
