He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize