is your mom at the bar?
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
