He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Randomize
