Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
cat food counts as protein by the way
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
