Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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