So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Randomize
