i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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