did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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