Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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