great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
