I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I still have a little drunk in my system
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
