Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i would punch a child for taco bell
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
