your room smells of hookers.
And success
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
