Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
