ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
