end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
