Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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