to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
