Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
