So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
