I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
you didnt know i had herpes?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
