I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
The beer is more important than you right now.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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