I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Randomize
