I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
