walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
