id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
