ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
