Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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