So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize