Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
