you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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