The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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