perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
