This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize