I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
