its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
