Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
