don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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