I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
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