apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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