did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
