trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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