see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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