He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I think a kid would responsible me up
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
