I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
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