she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
