You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
