Taylor Swift is so right about you.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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