no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
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