Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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