Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
