eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
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