I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
