I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i drank out of a bidet.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
