i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
