do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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