I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
