I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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